Land Ahoy!

Mid-morning, 26 Munychion, 1111BC:

Fantastic news! Today as we meticulously rowed the endless blue ocean surrounding us was interrupted by the appearance of an island in the distance. Given how long we have been rowing, I can tell you the sight of land is a most welcome one.

Hopefully this island will give us better memories than the island of those wretched lotos-eaters we visited last. I still thank Zeus for the fact that my tongue did not taste the lotos fruits we found on that island. Even to this day, the men who were unfortunate enough to eat it remain tied up below deck, crying every day about wanting to return to the island and eat that fruit, wiht no thoughts at all directed towards their homelands. Poor souls.

Anyway, Odysseus, fine leader that he is, tells us we can only hope for the best as we approach this island. He says that if the inhabitants are law-abiding and civilised, they should welcome us with open arms, give us gifts and accomodation and then send us on our way home. I hope he's right (but then again it's Odysseus we're talking about here so why wouldn't he be right?).

We should reach the island before nightfall. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll have gathered enough of an impression of the island to record my findings on it to you, dear reader.

For now though, back to rowing (sigh) - stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke

First Impressions

Late Afternoon, 27 Munychion, 1111BC:

Well, dear reader, we have safely reached land. Our first impressions are relatively good ones, although an element of caution remains after our encounter with the Lotos Eaters.

In the distance we can see smoke, which confirms that some sort of lifeform inhabits this island. The familiar noise of sheep and goats bleating was also heard, reminding many men of their simple lives back home.

This is fantastic news, surely signs of a civilised society that will treat strangers well. Alas, at this moment darkness is near, and all the men are weary. Odysseus, great man that he is, has recommended that we all sleep along the seashore tonight and approach the island's inhabitants tomorrow, which is the approach we will adopt.

By Zeus, I hope they are a friendly bunch!

Goodnight

Odysseus' Plan

Dawn, 28 Munychion, 1111BC:

Odysseus has just addressed us all, outlining his plans for approaching the inhabitants of this island. He plans to take himself and the crewmen of his ship (that's me!) to find out about the people who live on this island while the rest of the fleet stay with the ships. When we approach the inhabitants, Odysseus says, we will know if they are "savage and violent, and without justice, or hospitable to strangers and with minds that are godly" (His words, not mine - I could only wish to convey my thoughts as articulately as the heroic Odysseus).

As I am taking part in Odysseus' journey to meet the people on this island, I can only hope for my sake that they are friendly!

Cyclops!

Afternoon, 28 Munychion, 1111BC:

TERRIBLE NEWS! The inhabitants of this island are not friendly at all, they are hideous beasts, without manners or any shred of civilised nature.

We entered one of the caves we had observed from the seashore last night and to our disgust saw one of the beasts known as the Cyclopes. They are massive beasts, the height of five ordinary men and have only one, hideous eye. A number of the men, including myself, wanted to leave immediately and sail as far away as possible but Odysseus foolishly believed he could communicate with the beast.

Admittedly, Odysseus did extract some information from the beast, who called himself Polyphemus. Unfortunately, he could only extract bad things. We learned the Cyclopes do not fear the immortal gods and do not practice any of the humble works of mankind, namely planting, cultivating and meeting for counsel. Rather, they live a life of relative solitude where they don't care for their neighbours and (almost) everything relating to survival is taken care of for them.

The news becomes worse, dear reader. After we found all this out from Polyphemus, he sprang up and smashed two of our companions against the wall, spreading their blood everywhere and ATE THEM! He chopped them up limb by limb and ate them, the two men who were standing next to me as noble Odysseus tried to reason with the uncivilised monster.

I've almost lost all hope. I'm afraid I'll die here. I doubt I'll ever see my family again.

Only one thing can possibly save us now and that it is the intelligence of brilliant Odysseus. I heard he almost talked himself out of serving in the Trojan War, so if anyone can rescue us from this mess, it's Odysseus. Even as I write this in tears, he is leaning against the wall of the cavern, obviously distressed, but still focused. I see a fire burning in his eyes few ordinary men would have, a fire I have not seen since Achilles defeated Hector in Troy.

Please, almighty Zeus, help me to escape this mess alive!

Still Trapped

Morning, 29 Munychion, 1111BC:

Well, we managed to survive the night.

Alas, dear reader, this is the only positive I can draw from our current situation, which is still as hopeless as it was yesterday.

We all woke up well before the cyclops, looking around hopelessly for a way to escape. When he finally did rise, he lit his fire and tended to his flock of sheep. They were actually a beautiful flock, very well looked after and very healthy. Strange, how a beast of such violence shows such delicate care towards his flock of sheep. In fact, it is the only act so far from the beast that has mirrored any part of civilised mankind. This scrap of civilised society was quickly forgotten after he had milked and tended his flock, when he brutally killed and ate another two of our men.

After all of this, Polyphemeus led his fat flocks into the hills, trapped in his cave by the boulder immovable to ordinary men.I can't take this any more, CURSE YOU CYCLOPS! He'll never let us out alive. Hopefully brilliant Odysseus doesn't run out of ideas before Polyphemeus runs out of men to eat. We can't stab the beast because we will never be able to move the boulder to escape the cave. A cleverer idea is required. What this idea is, I don't know, not even Odysseus knows yet.

We can all only hope Athene inspires him (and us) to this glorius deed.

Last Chance

Afternoon, 29 Munychion, 1111BC:

We are alone in the Cyclops' cave. Most of the men were sitting there hopelessly in the dark until inspirational Odysseus called a meeting in which he outlined what will be our one and only chance to escape this trauma alive.

Near the pen where Polyphemus keeps his flock is a "great bludgeon of olive wood, still green" (as described by Odysseus). Presumably the beast plans to fashion some sort of walking stick or something to carry when he is taking his flock outside. I can't just say these bits of wood were big, that would be an undrstatement. The remaining men reached the conclusion that each piece was approximately the length of a mast of a cargo ship that requires twenty oars to travel across the sea. That's big dear reader.

Anyway, Odysseus called us to chop a piece of the wood up, smoothen it, sharpen the end and hover it over the blaze of the fire to harden it as only civilised men can. We meticulously did this as Odyssesus requested, such is the courage he inspires in men, even in the most trying of circumstances.

Odysseus then called the remaining men to cast lots to find out who would undertake the most crucial part of his plan: BLIND THE CYCLOPS! This confused many of us, myself included. Surely this action would only further enrage the beast and encourage him to kill more of us? Wouldn't it? I have my doubts but Odysseus, who says the results of this action will be revealed in due course, has never failed us before and I trust he will guide us to triumph again.

Anyway, I drew one of the lots to help Odysseus drive the giant stake into Polyphemus' eye so, by Zeus, I hope this works!

If you never hear from me again, dear reader, I think you can assume this plan went horribly wrong.

Success!

Evening, 29 Munychion, 1111BC:

Fantastic news, dear reader! We have successfully managed to blind the cyclops, under the brilliant leadership of Odysseus.

Old "round eye" returned to the cave earlier this evening. As soon as he had shut the door and milked his flock he brutally killed another two of our men. When he did this, a problem struck all of us - how on earth were we suppose to blind this behemoth when he has been killing us left, right and centre with no trouble at all?

Clearly, Odysseus had already taken this conundrum into account. After Polyphemus had finished his meal of human flesh, Odysseus offered him some of the wine that we had been fortunate enough to take into the cave with us. The uncivilised oaf had clearly never tasted this pleasure of civilised society before and was tipsy before long, despite his massive size.

The cyclops loosened up and said he would give Odysseus a gift if he would only tell him his name. Strange, I thought, gifts are usually offered to guests by civilised beings so there must be a catch here. Odysseus ingeniously said his name was 'nobody.' In return, the beast barbarically said his 'gift' to 'nobody' would be to eat him last of all. Charming.

Anyway, before too long the oaf fell asleep in a pool of his own vomit, which was induced after tasting the civilised pleasure of wine for the first time. Odysseus inspired us to take advantage of this opportunity and a group of us gathered together in coordination, picked up the giant stake we had fashioned over and smashed it into the brute's eye. Our teamwork was sublime, we drove the stake right into the middle of the eye and twisted deep into the back of the beast's retina.

Only a civilised group such as us led under the guile of a leader such as Odysseus could have performed such a task involving teamwork, strength, courage and a knowledge of building materials.

As soon as the task was complete, the oaf woke up in pain, screaming. Unfortunately, this drew the attention of his neighbours, who asked what was wrong with him. He told them that 'nobody's' treachery was the cause of his suffering, which drove his neighbours away (after they told him to shut up of course!). More civilised neighbours would have come to help right away. The beast, finally realising he had been outsmarted began to fling his arm around wildly, trying to kill us all in one below.

We dived away to the nearest group of rocks to hide from the beast. Odysseus told us to stay calm and that Polyphemus' flocks would help us escape in the morning.

We are certainly one step closer to escape, dear reader, but our troubles are not over yet.

Escape!

Morning 30 Munychion, 1111BC:

LIGHT! What a glorious feeling, to step back into the open air after bieng trapped by a monster who devoured half of your friends. Yes, dear reader, we have successfully escaped the clutches of the cyclops.

After we stabbed one-eye, he bumbled around aimlessly, swinging his arms everywhere. He eventually mumbled something about killing us in the morning and fell back to sleep, obviously still feeling worse for wear after all the wine we gave him.

When he did wake up (presumably around the time rosy dawn creeped over the horizon for the first time this morning), he continued his (obviously) daily ritual of taking his glorious flock of sheep outside. However, before this happened, Odysseus instructed us all to tie ourselves underneath the glorious animals. They were such a strong flock that they managed to carry our weight effortlessly.

So when Polyphemus moved aside the boulder to let his sleep outside, little did the blind oaf know that we were underneath them. The stupid oaf did realise that his sheep were moving slower than usual but was too dimwitted to make any connection about us escaping from underneath them.

As soon as we tasted the beautiful morning air, we ran as fast as we possibly could, praying to Hermes for swift feet. Hades, we were so arrogant we even took the beast's sheep with us!

All that remains is for us to reach the ships and we can sail home to Ithaca!

Setting Sail Again

Mid-morning, 30 Munychion, 1111BC:

Back on the open sea, dear reader. It is such a fantastic feeling to experience the smell of the salt water again after been trapped in the putrid cave of the beast for what seemed such a long time. I'll never complain about the outdoors again!

After we dislodged from Polyphemus' flock, we ran as fast as possible, no doubt overlooked by Hermes, towards out sturdy ships. For obvious reasons, old round eye couldn't see us and luckily he didn't hear us so we managed to sail away freely.

As soon as our ships were on the open water though, noble Odyssesus couldn't resist the opportunity to boast about his astonishing victory. We all did our best to discourage him from doing so, telling him we were still within range of the beast. Yet arrogant Odysseus couldn't resist: "Cyclops, if anyone ever asks you how you came by your blindness, tell him your eye was put out by Odysseus." This enraged the beast, who lifted a massive boulder that not even fifty ordinary men could lift and hurled it in the direction of Odysseus' mocking voice. The rock landed just astern of us and not even Odysseus was game to mock the cyclops again.

I think, dear reader, I think, we may have just left this wretched island alive!

What Next?

31 Munychion, 1111BC:

Well, dear reader, this account will conclude this stage of my adventures with Odysseus. I learnt of the barbarity and savagery of the cyclops, which made me feel grateful to be a civilised being. The experience also reinforced to me the brilliance of my great leader Odysseus, it was his cunning team plan that allowed many of us to escape the beast (with a beautiful flock of sheep as well!).

I can only wonder what lies ahead on the open sea for our crew. Surely after twenty years of fighting in Troy and troubles returning back to Ithaca, Zeus will grant us a safe journey home. There was a rumour going around that Poseidon will take vengeance on us for blinding one of his sons, but I am sure the gods feel they have punished us enough already.

Besides, how big a grudge can one god hold?